Tools of the Trade

December 11, 2014annabowling 2 Comments

The more I tried to force it, the less it worked, until in the end I hit a wall of creative exhaustion.
–Julia Ross

Today’s quote comes from this post by author Julia Ross, whom I am afraid to read. Not that I don’t want to; I have several of her books (alas, in storage, but there’s the library and ebooks, so not an excuse there) and I’ve peeked into them and closed the covers and put them back on the touch with a reverent pet. I’m sure I’m going to love these books when I do read them, but the giant question mark hanging over the possibility of there being more books from this author in the near or far future -her post was written in 2007, after all, about when my own wandering in the woods started, would require me to read them through splayed fingers. What if I love her and there aren’t any more, ever?

It’s happened before. I love, love, love Valerie Sherwood, aka Jeanne Hines, aka Rosamund Royal, one of the first wave of historical romance writers in the late seventies and early eighties. Grand adventures, bold heroines, intriguing heroes, vivid historical detail, heartfelt author’s notes, etcetera, etcetera. Most readers have those authors who get an “oh, yes!” from the very first page and never want the stream to stop. Sometimes, however, it does. After Ms. Sherwood’s last published work, Lisbon, she let fans know she was going to spend as much time as she could with her beloved husband, Eddie, who had fallen ill. She never came back. I can’t blame her. The illness of a spouse can overshadow everything else, and I can’t even imagine the impact a loss would have. When authors disappear for reasons like this, we understand. We don’t blame them.

The sort of creative paralyisis that affects writers in Ms. Ross’s situation, that I understand all too well. Those ideas that should work, but don’t, the yen to try something new but still stay true to who we are as writers, the shifting demands of the market, all of those together, compounded with the desire not to let people down, that’s a lot of balls (and sometimes chainsaws) to juggle at one time. There’s guilt. Frustration. Downright shame. This should work. It worked for Big Name Author. It worked for Writer Friend. It worked for Critique Partner. Why doesn’ t it work for meeeeeeee? Well, because it doesn’t.

(Makeup) case in point: today’s picture. This is part of my daily routine. I love makeup. I love makeup like I love historical romance. I’ve got Kat von D. I’ve got Wet’n’Wild. They are usually on my face at the same time. There’s primers and color correction and a pleasing balance of neutrals and brights, accumulated from a lot of trial and error. Makeup is natural for me. I like it. It’s playtime. It’s not a mask, it’s art on my face. It’s part of me. Some women don’t wear makeup. Some men do. Yay for all of us, as long as the face we see in the mirror reflects the person behind it, I’m good with that. If I were to run errands or meet friends in jeans and tshirt and no makeup, I’d feel…awkward. Uncomfortable. Not ugly, just not-me. I spent too much time being not-me to willingly go back there again.

So it is with writing. All that striving and trying and bashing my head against the keyboard and shoving what I naturally want to do into a box because “real writers” do this or do that didn’t get me anywhere good. I’ve spoken before about writer friends, however well-meaning, who think I “really should” write their favorite genre instead of my own, or what’s popular or what’s hot or the next big thing. Stop. Just stop. If I wanted to, I would. I’ve tried genres that are not-me, and know what? They’re not-me. I’m me. I wear makeup. I write romance.

Creative exhaustion is something nobody plans on, but sometimes it happens. It’s not fun. It’s frustrating and annoying and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. It does, however, have the potential to be a useful tool. It teaches us what we don’t want to do. What doesn’t work. When we know what doesn’t work, we can turn in the opposite direction and go in the other way. Forcing writing very seldom works, and if it does, it’s not the same as writing that comes from a natural place. It’s easy to say “relax, it will come” and for those in the throes of creative exhaustion, that can make the pressure seize up all the more.

I’m not an expert, by any means. I still seize up at times over the fact that my most recent novel release isn’t all that recent :runs around in circles, screaming.: Must get new novel out now now now now now! Accio manuscript! :taps foot: Nothing? Guess I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way. Which is fine, because it can be a wondrous adventure.

Typing With Wet Claws: Post Thanksgiving Edition

November 28, 2014annabowling 2 Comments

Hello, all. Skye here, for another Feline Friday. Today’s picture is of me at the old house, because Anty’s camera batteries died yesterday right before Uncle asked Anty to take a picture of the Thanksgiving table. (That was because they died taking a picture of the snowy tree in front of our house, which Anty had a picture of already but it had a lot less snow on it and Mama wanted the really snowy picture. Mama did not know that would kill the batteries, so do not be mad at her.) I am sorry about that because there were a lot of food bowls on that table and a table full of food bowls is a beautiful thing.

Another beautiful thing is Anty’s new business cards. They came last week, and she is very happy with them. Here is one of them, used in the new notebook she is still altering.

Could use a frame, don’t you think?

Anty had a new post at Heroes and Heartbreakers this week. In case you missed it, you can click the link below and read it now. Anty loves to get comments and talk to readers, so feel free to chime in. Her post was on the first part of Sleepy Hollow‘s fall finale. She says it is about ships, but I watched the whole episode and there were no boats of any kind. Must be a human thing. You can read about it here; if you know where the ships come in please let me know.:

Sleepy Hollow: Ichabbie Heart to Heart: knowledge is power

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, which means there was a lot of food everywhere. I still got my regular cat food and Uncle gave me some extra treat, so my tummy was very happy. Anty was less happy when I tried to wrap my whole body around both of her feet while she was carrying one of the platters from kitchen to dining room, but who can blame me? There was warm birdy smell and I wanted to be near her. Isn’t that a sign of devotion? I know full well I do not get people food because people eat people food and kitties eat kitty food and I am a kitty, but it was the principle of the thing.

Our family did not go Black Friday shopping, but Anty did get to spend some time this morning chasing me around the apartment, asking to see what was in my mouth, and I did not want her to see that. In case you are wondering, it was shed fur. She did not seem happy to see me eat it, but if my shed fur is that important to her, she does not have to worry. She will see it again when I am done with it. She did succeed in picking me up twice in her efforts to get the fur away from me, but I still got it down and then she had to give me food to soothe my nerves from being picked up. I like to be close to my humans, but not be picked up.

Anty says dealing with cats is good practice for dealing with characters, since we both are supposedly subject to our writer humans but end up doing our own thing anyway. I think she may be on to something there.

Until next time, I remain very truly yours,

Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling

(the kitty, not the book.)

Typing With Wet Claws: Domestic Tornado Edition

November 14, 2014annabowling Leave a comment

Cat selfie for the win

Hello, all, Skye here, with another Feline Friday. Anty really needs me to post for her today because this week has been full of domestic tornadoes. That is Anty’s term for things that happen at home that need her attention. She says those are private and I should not tell them here, but she does want me to remind everybody that the bed is usually made (that is Anty and Uncle’s room) and the trash is going out later. Things are a bit behind, but I am eating on schedule, so it is not that bad.

phase one; free writing

Anty had a suspicioin today was going to be another tornado day, so she started out with some Lapsang Souchong tea (she says it is like catnip for people who do not want to be sleepy, but I don’t entirely understand, because catnip does nothing for me. Some cats are like that. I will take her word on the tea.) in the Starbucks mug. If she is drinking out of the Starbucks mug, she is probably cranky and it is not a good idea to sit quietly next to her feet in case she moves unexpectedly. Do not ask me how I know that; I just do. Anyway, she had this tea at the kitchen counter, while free writing in a notebook she assembled from a Picadilly hardcover and the removable cover of another notebook whose insides she did not like. Free writing is writing down whatever is in her head. Then she plays with highlighters and sometimes draws faces. This usually decranks her at least some.

this counts as therapy

Sometimes, Anty needs to get out of the house when the tornadoes come through, and takes her glowy box to a coffee house or Panera. The choice of which often depends on things like wifi and refills. I am not sure what those things are, but if refills of tea are like refills of cat food, I understand that. I do not go with her, because I stay at home because I am a cat. She sometimes mentions finding a ‘Kitty Bjorn,” so she can carry me with her, but I do not think she is serious about that. Probably.

Some of Anty’s current notebooks

Anty has these notebooks with her today. The pastel spiral bound one is by Abbington Park and takes the place of the notebook I improve…um, peed on. That is for notes on one story. The black book is a hardcover Picadilly, and is her all purpose notebook. That gets everything in it and she sorts or copies things later. The small notebook is the white pocket Moleskine, which seems to be working well so far. She likes the smooth paper, the size is convenient and she says the cover feels good in her hands.

That is about it for this week. Anty is fighting tornadoes and still managing to write, so we will call that good. Tornadoes eventually subside, so all will be well in time. I suggest hiding under the bed, but maybe that’s just me. Scritches help.

Uncle scrtiches are theraputic, too.

Very truly yours,
Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling

(the kitty, not the book)

NaNot Ramblings: This Should Have Been Monday’s Post (and new Moleskine)

November 14, 2014November 14, 2014annabowling Leave a comment

Or Wednesday’s. This week kind of blends.

Domestic tornado -,more accurately more than one of them- touched down and I think it’s Thursday. Probably. Dunno. Hm. Monday, trash day, torndo day number one, tornado day number two, :counts on fingers: Thursday.

There has been writing, done midst twists of tornadoes, and a momentous day in the life of any notebook aficionado occurred; I started a new Moleskine. Pocket sized, lined, white, acquired during the ridiculously discount period of the closing of what our family termed “the good” Barnes and Noble, which of course we descended upon like the starving hyenas we are during such events.

Possibly due to thriftiness, and possibly due to masochism, I set myself a challenge when I saw that my current pocket notebook, an unlined (yep, found a way to use them) cahier was close to full; instead of buying new, I’d use the pocket sized books I already had and had not yet used. Hence this one. I’ve never used a lined hardcover pocket size before, so this is new, and I’d been wanting a white Moleskine since before there were white Moleskines.

Pictures are dark and fuzzy because they were taken on the kitchen counter while I preheated the oven to bake cookies, and the fizzled out flourescent bulb in our lovely high celings is currently in a resting period, so my former bedside lamp, on the other end of the counter, is doing all that bulb’s work.

Normally, I’m tending more toward gridded or blank pages these days, so of course my next book up had to be lined. Not as much of an adjustment as I’d first thought, so maybe I’m finally at an “everything’s good” phase when it comes to page formats. At least until I try dot grid. I have tried dot grid, on an oddly greyish off white sort of paper, and the color bothered me so much I had to stop using that book. Will try again with got grid Moleskine, but not for a while. I have a few more books to use first. Using my multicolored Bic Cristals at the moment on this one, with Sharpie pocket highlighters. No pictures yet of book-in-action, but that’s for another day.

Yep, she’s so tired, she’s loopy. But at least she got a blog entry up. That has to count for something.

Typing With Wet Claws: The other side of the notebook story

October 31, 2014October 31, 2014annabowling Leave a comment

Hello. Skye here, for another Feline Friday.

Classic picture because camera batteries are down. No cats are implicated in this explanation.

This week, I would like to address the matter of the notebook. Anty has talked a lot about how I peed on her story notebook. It is true. I did do that. I have special paws, and that means I do not use a litterbox like most other cats. I go on the floor. This is all right with my people because I make sure to let them know when I am going to go and I like to go in the same place.

That place is the Chair of Evil. How do I know the chair is evil? That is a very good question. It is green. It is really really, really old. It rocks back and forth. Chairs are not supposed to move on their own like that. It has cushion and a couple of teddy bears on it. The teddy bears are not evil, but I do know Anty does not like the cushion. Anyway, the Chair of Evil needs to be in the right place so that I can pee on it and this time…this one time…it was not. I do have an auxiliary pee spot in case the Chair of Evil is in an unacceptable configuration.

Anty never leaves her notebooks on the floor. Not ever. That was a first. I really had to go, no humans were up, it smelled like Anty, and, well, it happened. I am not proud of this. In my own defense, Anty always alters her notebooks, so I did not think she would mind if I gave it a try myself. In retrospect, urine has never been one of her mediums. I admit I might have wanted to take that into consideration before I did what I did, but I am a kitty. That has to have some weight in the matter.

She was not pleased when she saw the notebook there, in the middle of an admittedly large puddle, and she was very fast in getting the pee pads down on both floor and notebook. She sprayed a lot of Febreeze on the notebook, (I mean a lot. Uncle and I both think the humans need to buy another bottle to make up with how much she used) and she says that got some of the smell out, but she is still going to try an old librarian’s trick that involves putting the notebook in a Ziploc bag with some baking soda for a week. Personally, I think it smells amazing exactly the way it is, but it is not my notebook (though she says it may be, now, if she can’t get the smell out.) Besides, aren’t first drafts supposed to stink?

"My" notebook is the black one with the white writing in the lower corner. No other notebooks were harmed.

“My” notebook is the black one with the white writing that says “tomorrow” in the lower corner.
No other notebooks were harmed.

I will be back next week to let you know how the baking soda trick worked. Anty says I owe her a new notebook if that trick does not work.

Very truly yours,
Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling
(the kitty, not the book)

Typing With Wet Claws: Birthday Edition

October 25, 2014annabowling Leave a comment

It’s Feline Friday again

Hello, all. Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling here. It is Friday again, so it is my turn to take over my Anty’s blog. She would like to say welcome to her new followers and thanks for the comments. The more people she has to talk to, the better. For all of us.

Today’s blog is coming late because it was Anty’s birthday. She really loves birthdays, and they don’t have to be her own, but that doesn’t hurt. She says today was a good one, even though she spent a lot of it away from me. I did get a new friend, though. He doesn’t say much. I think he is shy. As long as he doesn’t go for my food, I think we will get along.

The strong and silent type?

Anty and Uncle went on what people call a date. They did not eat any actual dates, as far as I can tell. They had Chinese food. I took a picture before they left. This is probably why there are not any great photographers who are cats.

Before her date with Uncle, Anty and Mama went on a walk in the woods. I do not know why Anty was so excited about this. I spent the whole first six months of my life in the woods, and it isn’t that great, but Anty had fun and took a lot of pictures. I stayed home. I have had enough woods.

She’s pretty busy right now with new notebooks and pens, so she asked me to share her birthday cupcakes with all the readers. These are pumpkin flavored. They are also people food, which means not good for kitties. That’s okay, because I get my treat every single day, not only on birthdays. Pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Cupcakes for everybody
(except for kitties, who get treat.)

Until next Feline Friday, I remain very truly yours,

Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling
(the kitty, not the book)

To NaNo or Not to NaNo: the benefits

October 23, 2014annabowling 4 Comments

Big surprise, I’m still not decided on whether or not I’m officially signing on for NaNo madness. To all new readers who wonder if I always natter on about something of this nature, the answer is probably yes. Talking and thinking happen at the same time with me a good deal of the time, and I do like to examine things from multiple angles, so it’s safe to say I’ll be hopping over both sides of the fence until I finally have to pick one.

Last post, I talked about one of my biggest bugaboos about participating in NaNo, so with this one, I’m going to look at the other side of the coin and examine the plusses. For me, the biggest one is the sense of community. Moving from an area where I’d lived for decades to a place that was totally new was a big adjustment, but finding a local NaNo community as well as a fabulous RWA chapter made a big difference. Last year, the kickoff party was held at the coffee house where I write most weekdays. Getting plunked down in a room full of strangers who like to do what I like to do is always fun for me, and I have made some friends from my NaNo contacts. I’d be happy to do the same this year as well.

It has been suggested I can fake my way in, attend the write-ins even without signing up, and that’s a possibility. Though now I may have outed myself on that plan, but if they’re held in public places, who’s going to stop me, hm? Or maybe not. We’ll see.

Three pages of this, but no spaces, so NaNo count would say it’s one word.
Darned second keyboard.

There is always the option of joining the rebel camp, which I have done before, but not in the same way I’d be doing it this year. If I do it. I do have to admit I like the sneakiness of being a rebel. The new project (still deciding how much I want to talk about it while under construction) would be starting from scratch, so it is a new work, but I’d also likely split my time between new and existing projects because I am in love with two stories right now, and it’s not a matter of picking one or the other. It’s an and situation here. I like working on more than one thing at one time. Working on one thing feeds my desire to work on the other, and if I’m at a roadblock with one, then I can take a break, work on the other and come back with new perspective.

Oh well, looky there, new rules say I don’t have to start from scratch and can continue with a WIP. New food for thought, and I still don’t know. What I do know is that not knowing has helped me meet one of my other goals, that of growing this blog and posting more often, so the blabber is doing some good. I’d never meant to have a break from blogging; quite the opposite, but overthinking got me there as well. Here, I get on, I blabber, I put up pictures because I put up pictures, and on with the show. So, still undecided as we head into the final week, and this may well continue, but that rule change does tip things every so slightly into the yea category. Which may change. Or not.

Off to wander the moors and contemplate…

Layer Cake and NaNo Pondering

October 22, 2014annabowling 1 Comment

There is no actual cake in this post; I’m rambling about NaNo again, but my birthday is Friday, so there will likely be cake to share then. In the meantime, have a picture of Skye.

Skye has the right attitude.

NaNo start date looms ever closer, and I still don’t know if I’m signing. up for the official ride. Part of me wants to, because that’s what one does this time of year, I will be writing (and blabbering about it here) no matter what, so what’s the harm?

The big bugaboo for me is word count. If I focus on that, I get the aforementioned mental muscle cramp, I hate the story, I hate writing, I have to count every single word? Can’t I tell the story? That’s what I came here for in the first place, so why is NaNo trying to distract me with math? Did I mention I failed the really really easy math course in college twice? I love the idea of plowing through to The End; in fact, that’s one of the things I’m working on in my own personal writing renaissance, but there’s one problem with this. I’ve discovered I write most naturally in layers. Did I always work like that? (Long time crit partners, feel free to weigh in here.) I couldn’t say, but it’s what I’m doing now. Get the bones down, quick and dirty, and then go over it again with a few more passes. Organs. Cartilege. Connective tissue. Muscle, skin and hair. Clothes, makeup, a few accessories, and good to go. How do I fit all of that into a daily word count when it’s as likely words are going to be subtracted as well as added, moved around, turned inside out…did I mention that college math class?

This is an accurate representation of my first-first drafts, and no, I am not opening those notebooks here. Lots of longhand, lots of bullet points and boxes with swirly corners drawn around them because that’s how my mind works. Different colors of inks and highlighters, sticky notes everywhere. Small Moleskine lives in my purse, in a comfy pouch with all the pens and highlighters and smaller pad of sticky notes. Spiral notebooks (current project, one of the two of which I am working on, at different stages; if I do sign on for NaNo, I may split my time, automatically putting me in the rebel camp. I am probably going to work on both, NaNo or no NaNo anyway) are both for the same project. The one with the flowery (weedy?) cover is already full, white on black lettering about one third of the way there. Yellow legal pad is one of many culled from my dad’s house (vintage!) and somehow in all of that, the story comes together. Plus bouncing things off a critique partner (only the one for this particular story at the moment.) Don’t ask me how I do that; I just do it, and maybe that’s the best way for me at present.

I love writing again, I can blabber to my CP to my heart’s content without having too many voices get in my head and drown out not only the voices of my characters but my own as well (a big factor in the derailment of the last few years, I am sure) and still keep shoulder to wheel and nose to grindstone and get that story told. I know these people. I know their world. I know why they need to be together and I know why it’s darned freaking hard for them to get over what’s standing in their way so they can do that. The story is getting told, and isn’t that the whole point of NaNo in the first place? If I have to pick between words and story, I am going to pick story. Maybe I’m already fulfilling the spirit of NaNo if not the letter of the law? :shrug:

Skull socks make everything better.

To NaNo or Not to NaNo and Happy Albanyversary to Me

October 20, 2014October 20, 2014annabowling 2 Comments

One of the questions that is probably troubling you at the moment is this: How do I know whether I’m a writer? And the question can only be answered with another question: Well, do you write? If you don’t, you’re not. If you do, you are. There’s nothing else to it.
–Nick Hornby

This is one of my all time favorite quotes, but one of my all time favorite writers, and, this time of year, it’s especially apt. We’re ten days out from the start of National Novel Writing Month, and I am not signed up for it yet. I don’t know if I will be, and I may not know until the starting pistol has indeed been fired. This is not entirely a bad thing.

I love the support in NaNoWriMo, love my local group, have met friends through last year’s journey…but the book? Well, I wrote it. Did I make 50K? I don’t think so, but the truth is, I don’t remember or feel like going back to check. The whole thing felt and feels as appetizing as a snack of wet cardboard, so that’s a sure sign that something about that whole particular endeavor was not right for me.

This year, I want to have a different emphasis. Not so much focus on word counts, but on what counts. For me, that’s telling the story, and listening to the story so that I can tell it. Does that always conform to hitting a certain amount of words on a particular day? No. Does that mean the story moves forward? Yes. Are those always the same thing? Not always.

I did Camp NaNo this year, and won that. Had fun doing it, too, and I suspect being able to set my own word count goal helped somewhat. Confession: I am not a word counter. I can tend to obsess if I do keep that in mind, and end up in a fetal position under the dining room table, clutching a stuffed fish (plush) and muttering something about Zwieback. It’s not a fun place to be. In the end, I suspect I will do what is best for me at the time I need to make the decision. In either event, I will be posting and documenting here, because pretty much anything is more fun for me if I can blabber about it.

Washington Park sunset

Two years ago today, my family packed up our entire lives and departed the old country for the brave new world of Albany, NY. My only regret was not being able to convince all our beloved CT and MA friends to move with us (or for that matter, FL, CO, MI, etc; if I could ever have everybody I love in one huge room, that would be paradise.) I cannot say how good it feels to be home. I want my writing and the books that come from it to be home as well. Same with this blog.

It’s all a process. It’s also a journey. Some twists, some turns, some whoa-what-is-thats, but I have to trust that it’s going to take me where I need to be.

Typing With Wet Claws: Skye’s introduction

October 17, 2014annabowling 2 Comments

Skye O’Malley, the kitty, not the book.

Hello. I am Skye O’Malley, the kitty, not the book. My friend, Bailey, helps out his mom, Sue Ann Porter, with her blog, so he thinks that I should do the same thing. My mama does not write books or have a blog (she plays with strings that turn into sweaters and things,) but my Anty Anna does, so I will help her.

Most days, my mama and Uncle (Anty calls him Real Life Romance Hero) are out hunting, so Anty hunts from home. Usually, she’s on her glowy box, which looks like this picture below now, because she killed the first keyboard and then had to get a second one. That second one sits on top of the first, and sometimes tries to type things on that first keyboard on its own. I do not think she wants it to do that, but her characters do not always behave themselves either. Writers must be used to disobedience.

In case you want to know what it looks like where I work (I am a professional mews) this is what Anty sees when she looks away from her glowy box.

Workstation of the mews

Anty says not all of those notebooks are there all of the time, and they really are not. She does use a lot of paper, though. If I am a really good kitty, I get to play with some of it. I like to stay close in case Anty needs some inspiration, or wants to pet a kitty with her foot. In case she wants to feed a kitty, I am one, so it’s only considerate that I stay close by so she doesn’t have to go far. I like to think of myself as a very considerate kitty, so when Anty is home, I make sure to stay as close to her as possible. Unless it rains or I hear the cat zamboni (the people call it a street sweeper, but I know better) – then I am under Anty and Uncle’s bed.

In case you are wondering if Anty really does type some of these entries with wet nails, she really does. Her trick is to use only the pads of the fingers and not the actual nails. She says she learned that in high school and it still works. I love the smell of nail polish, so if she really is typing with wet nails, I am sure to be extra super close. I am calling my posts Typing With Wet Claws, but if my claws are wet, it is because I licked them. I am a very clean kitty.

Is that good for our first time together? Bailey said that first impressions are important.Hopefully, my posts will help Anty. She says if she sells a lot of books, I can get more toys. My favorite toys are Post-It notes that Anty is done using. I don’t think she is being entirely selfless by promising to buy more Post-Its, but it is worth a try.

Until next time,