If The Ears are on, I’m Working

It’s funny, the things we remember sometimes. This morning, when I set aside time to fully plan out my week (I hear the voice of an aunt in my head: “I don’t mind clutter, but I can’t stand chaos.” I may well be turning into my aunts, which is fine, because they were all awesome.) my brain informed me that the first time I knew (American) football was a fall sport was on my first day of maybe second or third grade, when a fall themed bulletin board included football imagery.

Photo by Jean-Daniel Francoeur on Pexels.com

The reason my brain thought I might like to know this was probably because I had laid down some autumn leaves scrapbook paper, because having an image on the page anchors my attention, making the actual planning a lot easier. Insomnia has been raging this past week, meaning that I do have some ground to recover, and planning is the way I figure out how that happens. Planning is also great for focusing on something that is creative but not storytelling creative, which gives that part of my brain some room to do its own thing without me in the way.

There’s also the fact that I can see my week laid out, mark the family days (two per week) that I will have a full house (not the tv show) so those are very unlikely to have writing time unless I leave the house. This is one reason I look forward to having a dedicated office, with a door I can close, in our next apartment, but we will be here for a while. Not at all complaining about that. I will make do with cat ear headphones. If the ears are on, leave me alone. This actually works because if eyes are on me, then I know I have to actually produce something.

For those who may be wondering, this post has nothing at all to do with football. I neither watch nor play, so it doesn’t affect me in any way I can relate. Why did it show up on my mental feed, then? I am not sure. Maybe because I am training myself to get back into writer mode, after being in survivor mode for so long. There is executive dysfunction, which is basically “I need to do the thing. I want to do the thing. I know how to do the thing. I have the stuff I need to do the thing. It is right over there. I should do the thing,” and then….not doing the thing. Gets annoying after a while, by which I mean immediately, and every time.

The only way through this kind of executive dysfunction with writing is to actually do the writing. Which means writing bad pages. Knowing that I am writing bad pages. Write bad pages until I write good pages. Lather, rinse, repeat. Feels like I have been doing that a lot lately. Probably boring and/or annoying people, because geez, get on with it, woman. Not always that easy, but there is indeed a path through. Insert the maxim about not comparing someone else’s chapter thirty to one’s own chapter five. Even if chapter five seems really long. It happens.

The point of al of this? Eh. An item off my list. Seeing things on a list, especially a visually appealing list, makes the Big Scary Task look and feel a lot more palatable. So. It’s here. So am I. I call that a win. Planner open at the ready, now off to Google Docs and some time with my imaginary friends.

How does your week look?

Anna

Typing With Wet Paws: Second Adopotiversary Edition

Tails up, Storm Troopers! I’m Storm, you’re awesome, and this is Typing With Wet Paws. This is a very special month, because it has a bunch of super fun stuff in it. Most importantly, though, this week sees my second adoptiversary, meaning I have completed two whole years of living with these guys. Before that, I was with my first mom, who did an amazing job of raising me as a happy, healthy kitty. I know she still loves me, and I still love her. She can see my pictures on Instagram, so she knows I am safe and happy.

pictures like this brighten anybody’s day

While that year long camping trip we went on to celebrate my adoption had its highlights, this week also means we start our second year of living in this apartment, and apartment living is definitely better. Even if the property manager, Mr. Kurt, did outsource pest control. Okay maybe it was the owner of the buildings, but still, am I a joke to them? Look at these teeth. Look at these claws. They don’t call them murder mittens for nothing. If there were a mouse in the house, I would have found it and brought it to Aunt Anna, whom I will now be calling Mama Anna (my first mom will be Mama D) because I love bringing her presents. Then again, the other apartments in our building don’t have cats, just dogs, so that could be part of it.

Anyway, since this is such a special week, Mama Anna said that I can talk about whatever I want. I don’t see how that is much different from every other week, because hey, I am a cat. That’s kind of how it works. For those of you who are wondering if I am calling the other humans anything different, Uncle Rheuben is now Papa and Aunt Linda is still Aunt Linda. I am not allowed outside, so I cant get them anything I would normally get. I don’t know what to do with stairs, anyway, and I can’t open doors that close all the way, so I do what I can.

I have to give the pest control human some props, because he did Psspsspss me. Of course I ignored him and went under the bed. He comes into my house and questions how I do my job? No thank you. He did recognize me as an Organic Pest Control Expert. I should give him some sort of professional courtesy. Though Aunt Linda now has to get a plastic container to put my dry food into. They sell that kind of thing where she works, which means it’s happening. If you think I am already thinking about ways I can open the lid, you are right. I like a challenge.

Mama Anna is occupying herself pretty well this week. She could do better on the reading front (mainly because if she does it on her tablet at night, in bed, I can sit on her shoulder and read along) but the writing is going well, and she is doing a stationery makeover/inventory/overhaul, which will include a…gasp…cull. I love this because that means there is more stationery laid out for me to lie on, especially when that is the particular thing she most especially needs. Speaking of which….

Headbonks!

Storm

The Importance of Stationery Nesting

Note: That is “stationery” nesting, as in nesting with stationery, not creating a nest that remains in one place, though that is probably a good idea, especially if young are involved.

Somewhere in our three room apartment, I have three, maybe four packs of my favorite discbound graph paper. There are not a lot of places this stuff could hide, but after a day of seriously whipping my writing area into shape (including but not limited to planner related things) I cannot find even one pack. This probably means that I put it where I thought it would be a logical place when I was tired or overwhelmed and a very poor judge of such matters.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Since I am the only one who touches my planner/journal supplies and indeed the only one who goes into my writing area, the list of possible culprits is extremely small. Basically, me, aka I can only blame myself for this development. :looks at self reprovingly: I have no doubt that I will find them in the process of “putting like with like,” as my mother used to phrase it. I hated that term when I was a kid, but as we often find out when we have to start doing my own adulting, Mom was on to something. She would probably be dumbfounded that organizing and planning is one of my passions. Seriously, I have been used as a pole in a scale designed to measure how much someone likes planners/stationery, “on a scale of ‘hate it,’ to ‘Anna,’ how much do you like planning/stationery?” Probably on more than one occasion, but I witnessed the one,

As a dear once upon a time writing group facilitator once said, “the process begets the product,” and I have found that she was also right. In her case, that meant keeping the pen on the paper for the entire span of our writing sprints, but in this case, it means that I remembered where I put an important item I needed while repurposing a languishing notebook into something I actually will use, and rotating out seasonal things that do not jibe with this season. It meant that while I was making the bed, I wondered what would happen if I pre-cut the printable stickers I love, using my slicer, rather than cutting them out one at a time, fussy cutting with small scissors.

I have repurposed my Big Pink traveler’s notebook to focus on some mindful creativity exercises, as a composer I admire terms them. That means doing some hard work regarding what makes me tick as a creator. My pink A5 six ring binder is similarly now for keeping lists of my favorite authors, tropes, settings, etc. This will serve as a handy “hey, you like this stuff; maybe put some of that in there” reference for when I need such a reminder. Please note that is “when,” not “if,” because it will definitely happen. I have known myself for quite a while now, and I may have noticed a few patterns.

I am very happy to be at this stage because it means I am getting ready to Do Business with the writing stuff, and that feels frankly amazing after the last few years. Not that anybody waved a magic wand, but more a series of progressions and setbacks and a lot of little things that all lined up to get me to this place. I have even been thinking about NaNo. If I do go through with it, I will be a rebel (no surprise) but even if I don’t sign up officially, I love the idea of testing how much I can do this time around.

How are you nesting this season?

Scattered Monday Thoughts (but the writing is going well)

Heh. This is the funny kind of thing that happens when the writing is going well and one actually takes the time to do the week’s planning all at once. By “funny” I mean “completely forgets that this is Monday and “write blog” was right there on the top of the list. I was doing well on the rest of it, though, so a quick blabbery post and I will be back at it.

Photo by Ravi Kant on Pexels.com

The “it,” of course, being the writing of actual fiction, which is going in an actually-not-awful direction. This sort of thing does seem to be easier since I have been putting some time and attention to some specific-for-writers journaling thingamaboodles, which I will probably talk more about later. The weather is cool and rainy today. I am wearing real shirts and sweatshirt, but pajama bottoms, and am settled at my desk, after a morning spread out in the soft office (aka on the bed) with planner stuff and some of the YouTube stuff I’ve been meaning to listen to while I do it, feline companion comfortably settled within petting range.

I have the house to myself today. Well, technically, for about twenty to sixty more minutes as of this writing, which is when one or more family members will return. It is true what they say about home being the place that, when you have to go there, they have to let you in. I’m not too bothered by this because A) I love everybody who lives with me, and B) we already have dinner covered, meaning I do not have to cook. I will probably still be the one doing dishes, though, but I don’t mind that. Especially since we have a new set of lovely, grown-up dishes, meaning the stuff we hauled around with us for a year can go into storage and only come out for potlucks and picnics and that sort of thing.

Writing feels good today. Stopping when family arrives also feels good, because I’ve put in a decent day’s work. That feels well, good would be too bland of a word, so I will say me-ish instead. I do feel as though I am getting closer to myself, which is a rather nice sort of feeling to have, especially when my purpose here is to draw on that me-ness to make up stories and blog posts and other related ventures.

That’s probably enough free form babbling for today, especially because I want to get the rest of a scene transcribed before the evening (or prevening, as Sheldon Cooper would call it) settles in and attention turns to family members and filling the creative well. As of late, that has involved a lot of music (surprisingly heavy on the Glee covers, and no, I do not know why) and my new old faithful, listening to somebody summarize horror movies or games that I have no intention of seeing/playing, while playing a very normal suburban version of Sims 4.

trust me, in the background, a mellifluous voice is describing something horrible.

How is your week going so far?

Typing With Wet Paws: Sorry For The MIA Edition

Tails up, Storm Troopers! It’s October now, which means a lot of exciting things are happening. First of all, today starts our official second year in this apartment, something that makes us all extremely happy. I am not as pleased with the closed windows, because I got a surprise when I tried to jump into my window in Aunt Linda’s room. She says she is getting me a ledge. We will see. I do have an adoptiversary coming up, so that’s another good thing, and a good reason for her to come through with the ledge.

Aunt Anna’s birthday is also in October, one week before Halloween, so really, it’s a whole month of fun stuff. The one up side of the windows closing is that the property manager turned the furnace on yesterday, so now we can have heat. Also, Aunt Linda is going on vacation later in this month, so there will be some shenanigans. Of what sort, I do not know, but it will be fun whatever it is.

photo by Anna Carrasco Bowling

As you can see, I am quite comfy, and also hard at work at being Aunt Anna’s mews. With the stuff ahead of her, she’s going to need me. Yesterday, she had two video chats with different writer friends, and then the day before that, her weekly three hours with Aunt Mary. Aunt Anna is a social creature, so this kind of thing helps her a lot. She also is working on some exercises in making sure she pays attention to what helps her write things and what doesn’t. I of course, am close by because really, isn’t that the most important thing?

desk at golden hour
Anna Carrasco Bowling

That picture above is what Aunt Anna’s current desk setup looks like. She’s very happy with it, though she will be happier when her secretary desk comes home, which will probably be sometime during Aunt Linda’s vacation. That is probably when she will dig her very very favorite historical romance novels out of storage. Those go in the bookcase her father made for her when she was a baby baby. She might repaint them, though, because yellow is not her thing. Don’t blame her. It doesn’t complement my fur at all, so I very much support this idea.

Speaking of books, let’s check in with Aunt Anna’s Goodreads Challenge. As of this writing, she is as 81% of the way to her goal of 90 books in 2021, with 73 books under her belt. That is six books ahead of schedule, so feel free to give her a paw bop when she complains about not being able to read anything, because that is obviously not true. Even if it seems that way at the time.

I would not be surprised if the reading thing gets even stronger this month, because A) it’s October, B ) that sometimes means she gets books for her birthday, and C) she’s already listening to music again and thanks to Uncle Rheuben, she is even watching TV. Okay, streaming, but still. He made her watch Only Murders in the Building. It hits a lot of tropes that Aunt Anna loves, has a great cast (she was sold on Steve Martin and Martin Short, and the prewar apartments sold her without knowing anything else.

Hm, I think that’s about it for right now, but I will be sure to pop back in if I think of anything else, get new toys, or anything else interesting. Feel free to drop your recommendations for sourcing a good red dot in the comments.

Headbonks!

Storm

Typing With Wet Paws: Pre-Home-i-Versary Edition

Tails up Storm Troopers! I’m Storm, you’re awesome, and this is Typing With Wet Paws. In case you were wondering where I was last week, have you noticed that I am a cat? That’s kind of our thing. I was probably in a box, or in Aunt Linda’s window. I’m here now, and isn’t that all that really matters?

Photo by Rheuben Bowling

On October first, we will officially begin our second year in this apartment. Technically, we moved in a week before that, but I’m too comfy to check the calendar or ask Aunt Anna for the exact date. October also means coming up on my adoptiversary, when I first came to live with these guys, which was a year before that. I have asked for a red dot for my present. I love red dot, especially at night. Aunt Anna agrees I need more toys, though honestly, I’m good with midnight parkour. Not going to say no to toys, though. I love toys. They are fun, and also nice to have around when I want to give Aunt Anna a present, since I am an indoor only girl.

October is also Aunt Anna’s birthday (closer to the end. Um, of the month, not of her) and then Halloween one week later. After that, it’s straight into the holidays, with Thanksgiving prep (the humans are doing ham this year. I will be getting tuna.) then it’s Christmas and Boxing Day (which kind of does have something to do with boxes) and New Year’s Day and Valentine’s Day and then after that comes the ugh weather and Aunt Anna may go underground again until September. Okay, not that extreme, but she really does prefer the autumn and winter, and those superpowers are very much kicking into gear.

I totally get how Aunt Anna is only snow really relaxing and settling in; I was the same way when I graduated from First Mom’s house and came to these guys. The first couple days, I stayed in my adventure cave and taking their measure. When I figured out they love me and are okay, I draped myself over a sleeping Aunt Anna, and well, here we are. It’s pretty nice.

One thing Aunt Anna is doing to make sure she can be at her best level right now is to make sure she stays in touch with her human friends. That means an increasing amount of video chats, which means more chances for me to crash said video chats. I love when humans in the glowy box tell me I am beautiful. They are right. Still never hurts to hear it. Fall is also good for snuggling with tea and blanket and lots of pillows and a good book. Most importantly of all, a kitty. By which I mean me. Aunt Anna can drink tea with on hand and then rub my belly with the other. Hm. Maybe she should consider an audiobook in that case.

It’s been pretty interesting around here as of late, as Aunt Anna gets back into writing gear, and all of the humans are talking about moving things in from storage and that kind of thing. What I take from all of that is “more boxes,” which is a a very happy ending for me.

How’s your week?

Headbonks!

photo by Rheuben Bowling

Storm

Anniversaries (not the romantic kind) and Other Stories

Yesterday was my and my friend Mary’s 20th friendiversary. It was four days after 9/11. We weren’t sure if the event where we would meet in person for the first time, an American Revolutionary War reenactment, was still happening. It was. I brought Housemate, she brought her hubby and then six-year-old son, who is now a firefighter and a fiancé. It’s been that long. Right away, I knew that this was found family for life. I am glad to see that I was right. Real Life Romance Hero was working that day, but when he was able to meet them in person, he blended in seamlessly. To say we have been through a lot together is an understatement.

Mary and I had our weekly everything and nothing talk. I cannot say how much good one of those chats with a good friend can do. Thankfully, I have a lot of such friends. I know I have been remiss in staying in contact of late, but it’s been, well, a lot in the last couple of years. Things are getting better now. We are coming up on another important anniversary, that of moving into our current home. We are already renewed for another year. It’s time to let out the breath we didn’t know we’d been holding (phrase used ironically) and relax.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

That means reading. That means writing. That means having my special things around me; gargoyle pencil holder, CORW awards, Elaine Duillo print that I need to reframe, and my and Melva’s first book cover together, that needs framing itself. My secretary desk, with all of its cubbyholes, my favorite classic historical romance novels in the bookcase my father built from scratch when I was a baby. It means reading the first paperback I bought in two years because it’s safe to do so. It means Walking through the park and looking for waterfowl, always my favorite neighbors. It means cutting myself some freaking slack because :gestures at last few years: Yeah. That stuff.

Which brings us back to :deep breath: writing. Specifically writing fiction. Specifically writing commercial fiction. Which means walking in that direction even if it feels wooden and rote for a little while. Crappy first drafts, even if those are crappy second drafts. To quote a friend with whom I do need to reconnect, “you’ll suck at first and then you’ll get better.” Wise words, and ones I am more than happy to tell to others.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere, really. It’s a blog post and that’s what I intended. It’s also fair warning that if you haven’t heard from me for a while, it’s because :gestures at past few years: and I will probably be showing up soon. Which will mean taking my own pictures again, which I dearly miss. Taking stationery pictures means figuring out the stationery situation, probably a cull, and definitely some refining. That will be a journey in itself. Stationery isn’t “just” stationery. Few things are “just” anything, for that matter. At least for me.

How about you? What anniversaries do you mark, other than the romantic relationship kind?

Fall Cleaning And Other Stories

Two years ago, yesterday, we left our last apartment, not knowing it would be over a year before we found a new one. 0/10, do not recommend. In two more weeks, we will celebrate -and that is absolutely the right word- our first full year in our new home. Lease renewal came yesterday, which I think is awesome timing. Tomorrow is both a state inspection for code on our building, and the first time I will have seen two of my cousins (who are mother and son) since I lived in CT. One is coming rom NJ, the other from AZ. There is a large age gap between me and my older cousin, as my mother was her mother’s baby sister, and adopted me in her forties.

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

This will be the first time I will have seen them without an older generation present. I am interested to see how this will go, how we interact as adult to adult. I look forward to getting current with them both, and introducing the to Real Life Romance Hero (who will be on Storm duty during the inspection; he’ll join us later) and Housemate. Introducing my family to my family. After that, it’s back to writing. Really, Okay, and planning on getting stuff out of storage and putting down some dang roots. I am excited to be reunited with my secretary desk in the very near future. Also my gargoyle pencil holder and collection of classic historical romance novels.

Today, apart from writing this blog post, I am on tidy the house duty, aka fall cleaning. Thankfully, that won’t take much, and I will have a decent amount of time at the end of the day to delve into my Sims and/or read. I could definitely do better with reading. Especially bundled in blankets, against the mountain of pillows on the big bed, with a cup of hot tea and feline companion Storm as near as feline-ly possible. I need a certain amount of relaxation to get into the type of read I prefer, and that hasn’t been the most prolific thing in the world for a while. Time to train myself into it again. That’s not a bad thing.

Fall has always been when my super powers return. I joke sometimes about having Seasonal Affective Disorder installed backwards, where fall and winter perk me and spring and summer have the opposite effect. That’s actually a thing. I have learned to lean into it. That works rather well for days lie today, when there are still chainsaws to juggle, but now they are the fun kind.

So, where am I going with this? Well, I have a blog entry now, and have a short break from the housework stuff, as well as a reminder that Many Writing Things lie ahead. I get to fuss and putter and put things where I want them to be, some sort of TV-ish thing playing in the background for added normality, though our TV is still in storage and will probably stay there. Streaming services fill that need quite nicely, and at my convenience. Still needs more survival dramas, though. Producers, please get on that. Thank you.

What are your plans for this week?

Typing With Wet Paws: Freestyle Hydration Edition

Tails up, Storm Troopers! I’m Storm, you’re awesome, and this is Typing With Wet Paws. Aunt Anna is adulting again, so I get to write about whatever I want. Since I am a cat, that is no surprise to anybody that I pick myself as the theme. I mean, look at me.

yes, this is a greatest hits picture. I’m a cat. Uploading is hard.

Anyway, the first story is about how smart I am. I am a strong, independent kitty. I am a strong, independent kitty who don’t need ho hoomans. Okay, I do need hoomans. I flew solo for a few days last summer, and 0/10, do not recommend. Indoor kitteh for lyfe.

Anyway, I have three water bowls. One is in Aunt Linda’s room and the other two are in the big bedroom with Aunt Anna and Uncle Rheuben. I like to stay hydrated. When one of my water bowls is empty, I rattle it with my paw. That usually attracts a human to fil the water bowl, and then I can drink again. This time, my rattling did not wake any humans. I was to learn later that Aunt Linda did hear it but didn’t recognize that I was asking her for more water and thought I was just playing. Silly Aunt Linda. Water is serious business.

So I thought to myself, Self, how else can we get some water? Then I remembered that there is a big water dish in the bathroom, aka people litterbox. There’s lots of water in that. Maybe the seat would be up and I could get to it. Well, it was, and I did. That was also exactly when Aunt Linda walked in. I am not going to tell you what she wanted to do with the big water bowl in the people litter box, but I bet you can guess. It’s gross. I did not get down because she told me to get down I got down because I wanted to get down. That’s an important difference.

Needless to say, all of my bowls got refilled after that and the natural order has been restored. I should also mention that Uncle Rheuben and I finally got to share his birthday tuna. I do enjoy a good dish of people tuna, and when I can share it with my favorite (only) uncle, that makes it even better. He puts mayonnaise in his, though. People are weird.

The other big news here is that it looks like I am getting a new cousin. One of my other aunts, who lives in a different state, found a little guy under her car the other morning. He has six toes on each foot. Some people call that polydactyl. Some call it Hemingway cat. I call it overachieving, because I do quite fine with four beans on each paw. Not really something he picked on his own though. I won’t say more until I have permission from the aunt to say more, but he’s a cute booger.

There is a bunch of fall cleaning going on over here, which is part of why Aunt Anna is adulting. That kind of thing allows her to work out writing things in the back of her head, so it is kind of writing related. She refreshed my favorite hangout spots with a sprinkle of catnip. I think that was very considerate of her. At present, my favorite spots are:

  • upside down lap desk next to Aunt Anna’s people desk
  • actual cat bed on the linen chest at the foot of the people bed
  • the big people bed (especially when people are on it)
  • windowsill in Aunt Linda’s room
  • Aunt Linda’s reading chair
  • Aunt Anna’s office chair, but I have to get out of it when she says
  • Uncle Rheuben’s desk (on top of it)
  • my big cardboard box

I know that’s a small list, but it works for me. I also like crossing under the bed and pretending I am driving through a tunnel. Uncle Rheuben calls this “the expressway.” Fun fact: I can make it from the big people bed to the door that leads to the kitchen in one sproing. How’s that for energy efficient?

I think that’s about it for right now, but remember. No matter what the weather report says, there is a one hundred percent chance of Storm activity at our place.

love, Storm

September

The fans are off today, though the windows are still open. I have leggings and a sweatshirt on as well as one of RLRH’s oversize t-shirts. I am making hot tea. Bed is made and laundry put away. I have the first point on my list of edits for A Heart Most Errant running on my brain’s back burner as I do these things, and things I have stressed over since literally February, are falling naturally into place. This feels right.

On Tuesday, I had a wonderful four and a half hour “lunch” with an IRL friend who is now also a writer friend. We both spoke of wanting an in-person writing buddy to talk at(this is extremely important for extroverts, as talking and thinking often happen at the same time) and, well, we were in person, and we are both writers. We don’t exactly write the same sorts of stories, but close enough, and we obviously mesh well, so we are giving biweekly Zooms a try. That starts next week

On Wednesday, I had a three hour video chat with another bestie, Our conversations go allll over the place, and this was no exception. After that I crashed. Hard. Then Real Life Romance Hero came home and ordered delivery (meatball subs from a local establishment, which were amazing) and I spent some time playing Sims 4, then actual sleep. Nine hours. No fan, no earbuds. Also amazing.

Which brings us to today. Not going to lie, I am thrilled that I can wear a sweatshirt (and I will need more as the season progresses.) Abovementioned bestie sent me a treasure trove of perfume samples, which I am wearing every day. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of moving into this apartment. That also means it will have been about two years since I had been presenting myself the way I would prefer to do. As in makeup, clothing, jewelry, hair, etc. That this happens at the same time spooky stuff is showing up in stores is not a bad thing by any means. Not that I plan to suddenly turn this into a style blog, but style is something I love. Being able to express it again is an absolute delight, especially when some areas mean basically starting from scratch.

Photo by Andrea Davis on Pexels.com

The blog I had planned for yesterday would have been about my fascination with survival dramas (Lost, Dark, The Rain, The Walking Dead universe, etc) and I still plan on doing that in the future, but the special thing about today is how regular it feels. I like that about today. I am already thinking of another cup of tea. Maybe. It’s not quite fall enough to start baking cookies but I think it is indeed getting there. I can get used to that. After dinner tonight, I have a date with a good book. Swell, more than one. Reading one on the front burner, letting the writing questions about others sort themselves out on the back burners.

No real point to this post, which is okay. Sometimes a stream of consciousness is what feels most authentic, so that’s what goes on the page.

How about you?