Roots and Wings

October 28, 2015annabowling 2 Comments

Leap the fence. Seize that chaos. Whet your own edge. Go weird. Go buckwild.

— Chuck Wendig

This is the first year I’ve felt 100% okay about not doing NaNo. No regret, no obligation, though I do give a hearty shake of the pompoms to all participants. This year, I am too excited to be working on Her Last First Kiss, immersing myself in the world of my hero and heroine (and the mutual friend caught in the middle, though I still don’t know if he gets a POV or not. We will find out.) to have much brain space left for the “oughts” and the “should” and the “everybody elses,” which is a good thing, and a goal I have been working toward for quite some time. So, that’s a win right there, in my book, pun intended.

The last few years have seen miscarried manuscripts, at various stages of viability. Some are still waiting for the bad juju to burn off, so that I can see what’s left. Others and I have parted ways, mostly amicably, while yet others are like the one night stand one passes at work with downcast eyes and a pretended interest in the pattern of the carpet until one is out of the other’s orbit. (Vampire story, I am looking at you.) All have been necessary steps along the journey, and those that are still viable will get a second look once the HEA has been inscribed in stone on this one.

For me, discipline is key, but the kind that works for me. When I have a schedule made out, then writing/researching/editing time is from hour X to hour Y, and that is mine. I am at work, whether that means a notebook in the park or fingers on keyboard. All those miscarried manuscripts have taught me that “um, I don’t know, England?” or “figure out why later” are not going to work for me, and the sanest thing I can do is hit pause, find out the specifics and then move forward. I love adding detail, adding layer on layer to make my story people into their own being, not my popsicle stick puppets, building locations I can see and hear and feel and breathe, so that I don’t have to stop and beat myself up because I don’t know the exact process of choosing a tanist :exchanges wary glance with time travel manuscript: or when house numbers came into general use :waves goodbye to novella idea that wasn’t strong enough to carry a story in the first place:

I’ve found out, the hard way, that my default setting at present, is Georgian England. Not that I can’t or don’t use other settings -far from it- but if I don’t know at the outset when and where a story takes place, that’s probably it. Part of this comes from being a child of the Bicentennial, and being a child of the Bicentennial while living in a town that was, literally, burned to the ground during the Revolution and rebuilt from a pile of ash. I can identify with that. The dress, manners, speech, and aesthetics of the Georgian era are second nature to me where historical romance is concerned. Love to read it, love to write it.

Studying the stories I love most to read tells me what I want to put into the stories I write. Deep emotion, the choices my characters make and the consequences thereof affected by the time in which they live. I love stories of identity, where the character breaks away from what others tell them they “should” or “ought” to be and instead, discover who they actually are, and live in that. Again, this is relevant to my interests.

I haven’t written a story like this one in a while, and it’s scary at times, but going back to my roots, the stories and characters that I love, fills me with anticipation rather than pressure. Piecing together my timelines, planting family trees and slapping down bullet points in notebooks and fresh documents lets me approach the work with enthusiasm, and without the feeling that I’m forcing anything. Challenging? Yes. Very much so. This timeline has me with one foot on the ledge already. There’s a gray area in a choice a character makes – maybe it’s not “likable,” but I’m not here for “likable.” I’m here to tell the stories that come to me, and, in this story world, that’s what happened, and I’m glad it did. When the characters start making their own choices like that, that’s when I know the story is real and alive. That’s when it goes from idea to book in progress, and this is definitely that.

Making the Map as I Go

October 26, 2015annabowling 2 Comments

I need to watch things and feel like I can do that, too, or feel like if that thing got made, there’s no reason I couldn’t make one of my own things.

-Will Wheaton

One more trip around the sun down, aka brand new year of me. Lovely birthday experience all around, with lots of love from dear ones both in person and in cyberspace, requisite reexamination of life, some reading, some writing and cake-like things on top of frozen yogurt in lieu of actual cake, and we now embark on a new week of a new year.

my partners in pondering

Today, I came to the sad conclusion that my office is, indeed, the place the internet goes to die. If I move a few feet to my right, as in leave my office and set up shop in the kitchen, everything works fine. Except for the fact that I am in the kitchen and not in my office. Which is kind of the point of the whole thing, a special room where I can Get Things Done, behind a closed door, Writing Cave sign (at this point, a faded Post-It with “writing cave” written in similarly faded Sharpie on it) optional. Housemate said it sounded like there was some sort of lead shield around my office. Good enough explanation, as the entire list to date of devices that cannot get connection in that room and only that room includes:

ancient desktop
old laptop
possibly the older than that laptop, but Merman took that one over so long ago that I don’t remember, so it gets half credit
new laptop
tablet
first smartphone
second smartphone

By the time even my phone could only take less than a minute of connection before it made like a tired toddler and refused to do anything, I decided it wasn’t worth my time and effort to make things work. I’d take things old school and bust out the pen, paper and three ring binder, because it is indeed story bible time. I’ve resisted making one for a while, because character questionnaires and such tend to make me forget not only very basic things like my character’s ages and appearances, but that I understand English.

Cranky Anna does not like filling out forms.

Getting all my ducks in a row, however, is essential, as I am dealing with more than I can keep in my head right now. The calendar says I am a big girl, so time to be that big girl and do what I need to do to get this book written. Which means, in this case, I have to haul out The Binder. In the past, I’ve tried to do it the way I “should,” which means the way it has worked for other people. The “research” section generally ends up with me resentfully printing out a few webpages of historical detail, three hole punching them and never looking at them again. Normally, this gest accompanied by a hefty dose of negative self talk about not being smart enough or intellectual enough or academic enough, etc, but that is what Real Historical Writers do, so :grits teeth: on with it, girl.

This time? No. This book is mine, and this story bible is mine, and it’s going to serve me, instead of me serving it. So far, I have a section labeled “story junk,” a section for my hero, one for my heroine, and one labelled “support,” a purposefully catchall term. Dividers are littered now with sticky notes of various sizes and colors, all the things I’m going to need to know scribbled down in hasty scrawls, with lots of blanks and question marks. Those who have known me for any length of time know that I am prone to overthinking things like this, so I am shoving some of the work off onto Critique Partner Vicki, who actually likes looking up such matters. I can send her my out of order lists of things that have to happen and who was born when, and such, and she can send me back a timeline.

The things that throw me are the numbers. Dates, distances, how much things cost, how long it takes to get from point A to point B in a carriage vs on horseback, and how long it will take mail coaches to make those same trips. Also transatlantic travel when the options were “ship” and “how long can you tread water?” It’s not enough to know that certain characters have stately homes “in England.” Where in England? Manor? Castle? What does it do? There are duties and obligations that come with being a peer, so, in the case of characters or their families who fit that designation, what are they? Fine, the earl can send his son to Eton and Oxford, but what did the boy study? How did he do in those studies? Would he have rather studied something else? Expectations are different for my second son hero (with a happily married and remarkably fecund big brother) than they are for his only child best friend, dear old dad’s heir. My heroine? Mostly taught herself. She’s resourceful.

This, for me, is the grunt work, and I can’t rush it. I’ve torn the outline apart, put some back together, and some of it now needs to be shaped by the realities of what was practical and/or plausible for the time. Which is not to say every person who lived in historical period X always did Y and never Z. Far from it, but what works for this writer who goes heavily by intuition, is to see what the world my people lived in was like, and from there, see how they respond to it. That’s where the fun comes in, but the foundation has to be laid first.

Things That Make Me Go “Whoa.”

October 21, 2015annabowling Leave a comment

I want to know that there’s something just beyond MY ability, that I can eek (sic) out one day that can move people like I’ve been moved.

–Ben Folds

Once again, we’ve arrived at blog day, but my first reaction is to say I’ve got nothing and see you next time. Not going to do that, however, as this is on my to-do list, so it is going to get to-done. This is one of the reasons I keep a list of writing related quotes on hand. That way, I always have something to use as a prompt, whether it’s strictly adhering to the original quote or using it as a jumping off point to something more loosely related.

Right now, still not sure in which direction I’m going to go, but I am going. The first time I remember being aware of Ben Folds was in my BFF’s car, on a long ago December 26th, at precisely 6 AM. Points to the DJ who cued up “Brick” at exactly that moment. From the first haunting piano notes, I knew I was listening to something special.

I didn’t know at the time that this was a song about an abortion from the viewpoint of a seventeen year old boy, nor that it was from the singer/songwriter’s personal experience. All I knew was that this was raw emotion, the very serious subject matter at odds with the beauty of the music, and played against the mood of the holiday season, the contrast was sharp. In short, it wakened that “how did he do that?” reaction in the story part of my brain.

My father was an artist all his life, and I remember, from a young age, being brought to art shows and museums, and noticing people with sketchpads or easels, in front of certain works. I wasn’t sure what they were doing -it seemed rude, from my four-ish year old perspective, to be in a museum and they’re paying attention to what they can do at home on their own?- so I asked. My father told me that they were copying the masters in order to learn how they did what they did. Centuries before YouTube videos, webinars, mass communications or even widespread literacy, this is how it happened. Try and fail and try and fail and keep eyes on the good stuff and try to figure out how the good stuff got good.

This is, as a matter of course, going to result in turning out a lot of crap along the way. That’s part of the process. As much as I would love to spit out a bunch of words and have them arrange themselves into timeless fiction while I sleep, that’s not going to happen. What is going to happen is that I need to treat this like any other form of education. I need to study the books in my genre that work for me, and figure out why they work for me. What elements of these books, these writers’ voices, etc, can I adapt to my own use? I need to study books in my genre that do not work for me, and find out why they don’t work for me. Do I see any of my own bad habits there? How can I work on improving those? I need to study books outside of my preferred genre, to see what elements in those books can enrich what I do and add something new to the time honored elements.

Sometimes, it feels like, well, work. Which it is, of course, for those of us for whom writing is a profession as well as a pleasure. When I feel a reluctance to get to the work, that usually means I need to reconnect. Which, for me, means a lot of reading, because story in, story out. Though I’m still reading a lot of realistic YA these days (because they seriously deliver the visceral emotion and make me want to step up that game in historical romance) I’ve missed the deep immersion of the older historical romances, so revisiting a lot of those, and will likely be doing a lot of rambling on that in the future.

So, these days, I have at least part of my brain in magpie mode. I want to be challenged in what I take in. Surprised. I’m listening to a lot of music on Spotify these days, sometimes dedicating time to read the lyrics (I love that feature) while listening to the music, and treating that as research. The way Ben Folds uses language – seriously impressing this gal who completed an English minor in two years without even trying (I honestly did take all the required courses merely because they interested me ; go figure) and am now in a serious Damien Rice mode, because my heart is still dying a little from “Accidental Babies” and “The Greatest Bastard.” Lots of brilliant turns of language and emotion there, essential for writing romance.

I can feel the closing paragraph coming on here, the one where we restate the topic sentence (did I have one here?) and leave readers with a takeaway. Not sure how well this is going to hew to that (look at me, using vocabulary words) but here’s what I’ve got. I want that “wow” moment. That “I never thought of that” moment. That thing where all I have to do is hear three piano notes and a whole movie plays in my head. Hopefully on my pages as well. Story in, story out, in all its forms.

Crabby Monday

October 19, 2015October 19, 2015annabowling Leave a comment

This blog entry exists because I want to cross something off my to do list. It’s one of those days where writing related things are getting done, but the actual writing has been scarce. Not anybody’s fault, as domestic tornadoes happen when domestic tornadoes happen. This is one of those days when inspiration takes a back seat to discipline. Which means, in short, butt in chair and fingers on keyboard and/or pen to paper.

I’m sitting in my favorite coffee house right now, a cup of cold tea in front of me. It was hot when I ordered it, but it, like me, today, is pretty much kind of there and that’s it. Blah. Not what I was going for, for either of us. I will credit the barista with leaving the infuser in the cup and giving me a generous splash of skim milk in the cardboard cup so that I could let the tea, a delicious chai I get almost every time I come here, brew to perfection and then add the right amount of milk. That’s not exactly what happened, my apologies to the tea.

This is one of those parts of writing that is not exactly glamorous. Meh. Cold tea, blank brain, tired body. Still, the idea of totally blowing off the day bothers me. It rankles. Doesn’t fit. I mean, I could. That’s within my grasp, and, some would argue, within my rights. Part of me would actually like to do that, but then it runs straight into the part that rolls its eyes. OMG, are you whining about how hard writing is again? No wonder it’s been a while since your last book release. Sit down and do it. It’s easy. What, you can’t? Must not be a writer, then. There, there, you tried. Failed, but tried. Now go home and put away the laundry and…mmm nope, that’s about all I’ve got, but I will flip through this list of anxiety triggers while you wrangle the laundry and then we’ll see which one we’re going to go with for the rest of the day. How does that sound?

Actually, not very good. Not very good at all. True, not every day can be a perfect one, and the slower days do get balanced out with the days when everything seems to want to come out of my head at once. There are times to produce and times to take in so that I can produce later. Even on those days when story brain says “nope,” there are still things I can do. Crit a critique partner’s chapter, discuss the next steps for the novella (partner and I there agree we are wrapping the end of the beginning and are pumped to get to the beginning of the middle) and write a blog entry. Not too shabby there, even if I am spending most of the entry blabbering.

Let’s see, what else? Conversing with some writer friends via email and discussing the use of angst in romance (a favorite topic) and trading songs that make our hearts hurt but also create plot bunnies. My favorite contribution for that discussion would be “Accidental Babies,” by Damien Rice:

Somewhat related to Her Last First Kiss, as there is a love triangle of sorts in that one, though my heroine wouldn’t say she’s in love with the other gent, but there is some fondness there. The mood fits, though, and it makes my heart ache the way my heart needs to ache for my hero’s situation at a crucial point in the book, so been listening to this one quite a bit, but haven’t actually moved it onto the book’s playlist, but that will probably happen soon.

So. Getting around time to wrap this sucker up and call the entry done. Likely also time to stick my nose in a good book and refill the well. Mondays are going to happen; that’s a fact of life. Okay. They happen. The adventure comes with what I choose to do with them. If putting out is an issue, then it’s usually time to take in. Even spending time in favorite places can count toward this. The brick walls of the coffee house, the street-level windows, eclectic tables and seating, the ever-changing flow of other guests; these are all good things. I am looking forward to the month progressing into Daylight Savings in the not too distant future, when I get to look up from keyboard or notebook and watch the day fade into night. Those evenings when I can go to the coffee house in daylight at walk home at night, still on my regular twoish hour stint, that’s the good stuff. I can pin my sights on that and keep moving toward it.

In the meantime, this entry is here. I did it. Novella progress is moving forward and partner and I agree on where the next step goes. Chapter critted for critique partner, and I can shoot her a note saying I’m brain-free today, but would love to brainstorm tomorrow. Then…maybe reading, maybe adult coloring book, maybe movie. We’ll see. What’s important is that this entry is here.

That Time of Year Approaches Again, And This Time, I Have a Plan

October 14, 2015October 14, 2015annabowling 4 Comments

By that, I mean NaNo, and, once again, for me, this year will be NaNot. I love the sense of camaraderie and support, and the mere idea of meeting other writers to get together in person and get some story down, no censors, no edits, etc, gets my motor running. Focusing on word count, however, shuts it off all together. So, not the best program for me, especially when my focus is getting not one, but two, manuscripts to The End.

This time, instead of whingeing about how NaNo and I are not a good fit at present, I’d rather focus on what does work for me. Working on multiple projects is a big part of that. If one isn’t working out, I can switch gears, focus on the other and trust that the first one will take steps to sort itself while my conscious attention is targeted elsewhere. What I do for relaxation when I’m not working on novel, novella or articles, is also writing-related, so, basically, I either do not have an off switch or I taped that sucker in the on position at some point.

Which brings me to my next thing – if I’m that busy, why don’t I have elbenty bajillion new release? I could cite the domestic tornado chains that have whipped through our family of late, and that’s part of it, but that’s not a part I can control. What I can control is the fear. Fear that I’m not good enough. That I missed my chance. That nobody wants to read the kinds of stories I have to tell, so shut up, step away from the computer and wet Swiffer the linoleum because people track stuff in on a regular basis, and that all shows on light colored flooring. Well, they (and I) do, and it does, but here’s the rub (pun intended) – housework makes my story brain chug into motion. The trick is getting that motion all the way from Once Upon a Time to They Lived Happily Ever After (though with a few bruises and smoke rising from the ruins of collateral damage.)

One thing I’ve learned from failed (and won) NaNo attempts is that I need to focus on the story, not the writing. Counting words completely derails my brain, reminds me that adverbs are bad, keeps an eye out for the size of my vocabulary pool, seizes on minutiae, and I can’t hear the voice of the story and characters anymore. This is why we can’t have nice things, and by nice things, I mean completed manuscripts. If I shut the inner critic, with her clicker that logs every word in some mental spreadsheet, away, I can let the metaphorical horse have its head. Get the bones down, take notes, as it were, on the movie that plays in my head. Most times, that’s going to be in bullet points, present tense, riddled with (figure this detail out later kinds of notes to myself) and a big ol’ jumbled mess that probably makes sense only to me. Also to Critique Partner Vicki, who is used to this by now.

The other big takeaway I’ve had is that I write best in layers. Get the bones down, add some muscle, add some sinew, add some veins and capillaries and aortas, add flesh and all the rest, and we’re good to go. Probably not in that order, so good thing I am not employed in the medical sciences. What I’m going for at present is a bare bones draft, done my way. Can I get a scene outlined every weekday? Not counting words, but putting down my bullet points, from the movie screen in my head, onto the page. Laying the foundation, beginning to end, putting the jumbled mass of notes into order (organization! See, already fun, right there. I love organizing things.) I used to number the scenes in my outlines; not sure when I stopped doing that. Whoops, yes, I do, but probably time to give that another go and see where it takes me.

After a long examination of how I work best (at present; process can be an ever changing entity, which only proves that it’s alive) I’m comfortable with my layers, and not so comfortable with the big stack of partial manuscripts that piled on each other in the interim. This doesn’t mean that every partial will make it all the way; some aren’t viable, or need big changes, like transport to a setting that does not make me gnash my teeth and fuss against the bonds of the “shoulds” that come with that particular territory. Instead, it’s time to blaze the trail that gets me where I want and need to go.

Mandatory Midweek Post

September 30, 2015annabowling Leave a comment

I want to know that there’s something just beyond MY ability, that I can eek (sic) out one day that can move people like I’ve been moved.

–Ben Folds

I’m grumpy today. Kitty with tummy trouble will do that to a gal, and coming on the tails of a Monday and a half, especially with a gorgeously cool and rainy day that I would love to spend reading, especially (yes, two especiallies in one sentence; it’s that kind of day, and it’s my blog, so hush) now that we have a comfy cushion on our windowseat, the temptation to give this day a certain digit and slack off is strong.

Here’s why I’m not. In a word, discipline. I am the first one to turn into a whimpering ball of jelly when I look at the publication date on my most recent book. I am also the one in charge of the publication date for my next one. I have a novella scene due to my collaborator tomorrow, so I need to get that down today, at least the bare bones. I can do the bare bones, even when I’m grumpy and have one eye on kitty doings. Not consciously drawing on Anne Lamott’s one inch picture frame, but it’s similar.

Organizing and making lists works incredibly well for me. I don’t have to write the entire book today. Shoot, I’m only writing part of the book, because Collaborator Melva kicks writing butt and we are so much on the same page (pun intended) that it’s scary. It doesn’t have to be perfect. If I’m off, she’ll tell me, and we’ll fix it, together. What it has to be is written. That’s it. Bullet points are fine. Present tense is fine. I can fix bad, but I can’t fix blank. (Thank you, Nora Roberts, for that one.)

“Do what you can do, when you can do it,” is a phrase I learned while caregiving, and it applies to writing as well. Life is going to happen. Cats are going to throw up, phones are going to go to the great charging station in the sky, and grumpy days are going to happen. These are the times I like to focus on what I can do, rather than what I can’t, or haven’t, or didn’t. One of the items on my bare bones to do list was write today’s blog entry. I had nothing when I started, unless fretting pet-aunt mode was an option (on a writing blog, it usually isn’t) and Skye is currently hanging out in her regular rainy day spot under the bed in the master bedroom. She has a bowl of water, and I’ll keep an eye on her. The other eye has to be on the writing.

This isn’t my favorite entry. I’m blabbering, but it’s honest. It’s where I am. That’s something I’m working on strengthening, in both fiction and nonfiction. I have Ben Folds’ new album playing, a mix of his usual music and a symphonic orchestra (my love for pop/rock combined with an orchestra knows no bounds, really it doesn’t) because his work is always good for jump-starting my own. Getting to those deep emotions and the insecurities characters like to hide from the world, because those are things that will prove them weak, get them rejected, make them vulnerable. Those are my jams. I love that stuff. In romance, I can throw basically anything at my characters, as long as they end up happy and together at the end. Since I write historical, that means I can use wars and natural disasters and political upheaval, and all of that ready made good stuff to cause bumps in the road to Happily Ever After.

Being a character focused writer means that I can play with the voices in my head when I don’t know what we’re going to be doing today. That’s a good jumpstart again. If I don’t know how they’d react to X, then that means I don’t know them well enough, most likely, and we are going to need to have some tea and a good long talk, them and me. We’ll get through it. Bullet point by bullet point. There will be another day when I blaze through multiple scenes without breaking a sweat. Taking this day for what it is, doing what I can, and then refilling the well is the best way to get to that new release, the next article, and hey, look right there. I wrote a blog entry. Cross that puppy off the list and let’s get back to that novella scene.

Monday Junior

September 29, 2015September 29, 2015annabowling Leave a comment

Focus on writing the story you want to tell. Don’t worry about how many words, what genre, and especially about people who tell you that you will never make it. They’re not important. Finish the thing and try to do your story justice.

–Ilona Andrews

Today is Tuesday, but I am calling it Monday Junior this week. To best explain this, here is a short rundown of my Monday evening:

hit same place on head on corner of shelf and corner of dresser, in two separate incidents.
found a bug in my crushed pineapple, and remembered, hours later, that this serving had been broken down from a bigger container earlier, so I did at one point eat half a can of pineapple that had a bug in it.
decided to make tea to counteract the buggy pineapple, only to have tea infuser open (this may be because the kitchen light was out, we have prewar ceilings and no ladder) and float my last bit of Earl Grey throughout the water. Tea dumped, because now not drinkable.
Real Life Romance Hero washed my mug (into which I had flung aforementioned bug) which I used to make that cup of tea, which had to be dumped out, but I only found out there was still soap in it after I started drinking said tea.

It wasn’t a total waste, as today’s picture evidences. Real Life Romance Hero had received a gift card to a swanky restaurant near our apartment for his birthday a month and a half ago. Yesterday, we finally got a chance to put it into use. Got dressed in real Grownup People Who Eat in Swanky Restaurant Clothes and everything. Food was amazing, atmosphere was perfect, and we had the place to ourselves, so that made for a special afternoon. I went for a walk in the park to ponder over some current writing projects while Real Life Romance Hero watched the news, and came home, expecting a lovely evening of writing.

Insert maniacal laughter here. Normally, a pina colada sundae is the perfect cap to any day. I love pineapple. I love coconut. I love ice cream. Mush them all together, and we should have something special. Add a dead bug (though I suppose dead bug is better than live bug, but not by much) and we have the exact opposite effect. Bleh.Try and follow that up with a soothing cup of tea that fails, not once but twice. Surely, Tuesday has to be better.

Did I do that?

Well. I will start off by mentioning that Skye kitty puked at my feet while I was making my list of Monday horrors. It was not her first time today. She’s fine; it’s hairball season. This happened at the same time Housemate arrived several hours earlier than we expected her (always good to see her, and it is her house, too, but surprise factor was high) and RLRH, who had been sleeping in, rose at that exact moment, doubling the surprise factor for me, plus cat puke. I am about to give this day a jaunty salute and retreat into Sims 3 and adult coloring books.

Before the cat puke and flinging open of multiple doors at once, my Tuesday so far includes:

the two pens I normally keep in my computer bag, for specific purposes, are not in my computer bag, nor are they in my computer sleeve, and I have run out of logical places they could be, which leaves “lost” as the most likely suspect. Not earth-shattering, as they are easily obtained at Dollar Tree, and I am subbing Pilot Varsity fountain pens (there is something about subbing a fountain pen for a dollar store pen, but I am too Mondayed to examine that at present) but still enough to jangle in my current state.
Aforementioned festival of doors flinging open, with my opinion asked on a conversation whose topic completely eluded me.
New (additional, that is; Critique Partner Vicki is not going anywhere; I love and need her and she can’t afford the blackmail, so she has to stick around) critique partner not only pinpointed specific issues with project she’s looking at with laser accuracy and helpful suggestions with which I totally agree can make this story So Much Better but also nailed the overall goal I’m going for in my writing, which I had not mentioned to her yet; reclaiming my melodrama, which I love and dearly miss, buried under should and expectations and nonwriting concerns.

This last one is where I’m going to focus, because it’s a good place and an uncomfortable place. It’s good because this is what I want, this getting back in touch with my natural voice and working those writing muscles until they give me some resistance, which is the signal that they are getting stronger. Uncomfortable, because, well, change is uncomfortable. Resistance is uncomfortable. Looking at what we could do better and where we’ve fallen short is uncomfortable. It’s also a necessary step in the journey, and, sometimes, we need to tread that particular path more than once.

So, on a day when I’d hoped to make up for the day before, (though I did get some work done before RLRH and I had our adventure) instead, I’m digging up bones, fleshing out, refining, reexamining, restoring, tearing down and building up until what’s on the page is what’s in my head. My characters deserve that. My readers deserve that. I deserve that. In that perspective, all the crud is worth what it takes to go through, to make the best possible story and the best possible me. Remind me of that when I grumble, okay?

Typing With Wet Claws: Autumnal Equinox Edition

September 25, 2015annabowling 2 Comments

Hello, all. Skye here, for another Feline Friday. This has been a big week. Anty is okay, even after the bulletin board fell on her head. That is not the reason they did not want her at jury duty, but she did get a blog entry out of it, so that is one good thing. She still has not put it back up yet. She will need Uncle’s help and input first, and she will probably take everything off and start all over, anyway. She was not working on specific things (apart from the time travel, which was already a mess by then) when she put the board up, and she is working on different projects now.

Since the Autumnal Equinox has arrived, it is now officially fall. That is Anty’s favorite season (but when winter comes, that will be her favorite, too) and the time of year when she gets her super powers back. Her super powers mainly (or Maine Coon-ly, because I am a Maine Coon and also her mews) involve telling stories. I think those are very good super powers. Life would be very boring without stories. Now that fall is here, the leaves are starting to turn colors, the air is crisper, the weather is cooler, and the sun sets earlier. Anty sometimes phrases this as “the darkness returns” and follows that with a creepy laugh. She also likes that skull themed things are much more easily available and stocks up now for her year round needs.

This is also the time of year that new TV shows come back, and sometimes, Anty writes about them for Heroes and Heartbreakers. This week, The Big Bang Theory came back, and Anty recapped it. The post is here and it looks like this:

Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter request the honor of your presence…

Anty is also looking forward to writing about Sleepy Hollow when it comes back, and also writing about books and other articles, but what she loves writing the most in fall (or any other sesason) is historical romance (and historical adjacent romance, but that is another topic.) With jury duty and some other things this week, Anty had a rough couple of writing days, but, yesterday, she packed up her computer and some legal pads and went to the Panera across the street from the hospital and settled in for the long haul. That means a few hours, in Anty time. She got a cookie, which meant she was there to get down to some serious business.

This is Anty’s serious writing business face.

If you see Anty with this expression (pen in mouth is a good giveaway) it is best to put down the gummi bears and back away slowly. If you do not have gummi bears, go get some, then put them down and back away slowly. This expression means she is facing down that point in the story where a perfectly good scene has stopped and won’t get moving again. She hates those scenes, and, yesterday, she was faced with two of them, at the same time.

Anty likes to work on more than one project at a time, because switching between them keeps her energized. If one is not working, she can work on the other, and then, by the time she is ready to go back to the first one, it usually has solved its own problem. If not, she can try something else. I think petting me is a good something else. Sometimes, she does, too, but sometimes that means going for a walk or working on a different project.

For Anty, the best way to work out a story problem is to talk about it. Yesterday, she talked with Critique Partner Vicki in email about one sticky point, and found out she still does not know enough to write that scene. That irritated her, because she wants to write this book, and write it fast, but she also wants to write it well, so that means making sure that all the foundations are laid before she dives in and forges ahead. She has had too many books fizzle out because she doesn’t know what she is doing. This is one point where the gummi bears are useful. She cannot grumble if she has gummi bears in her mouth. Tea is also good for this, plus she can have hot tea again because it is fall, and look at the different colored leaves out the window. Soon, she will be able to swaddle herself in sweaters and hand mitts, which enhance her super powers.

At the same time Anty was online with Critique partner Vicki, she had one of her legal pads at hand, to free write about what was bothering her about the other scene. For Anty, free writing is like talking to herself on paper, and often helps her figure out what she is thinking when her mind is jumbled. In this case, she’d had a scene she wanted to write, but it would get to a certain point and stop. This frustrates her, but it is not a lost cause. What she has found works best is to go back to the last point the scene worked and make a different choice for what comes immediately after that. In this case, it meant taking out a character’s reaction that she liked a lot. It ought to work, and, in theory, it would, but when she got it on the page, everything ground to a halt. So, she deleted it. Maybe that deleted bit will end up elsewhere, but taking it out got things moving once again.

Anty feels better about moving forward with both projects today, and would like to get to that, so that is about it for me this week. Until next time, I remain very truly yours,

Skye O’Malley Hart-Bowling
(the kitty, not the book)

Until next week…

Beautiful Mess

September 23, 2015September 23, 2015annabowling Leave a comment

Before heading off to jury duty on Monday morning, I wanted to make a copy on my printer, but A) the printer jammed, and B) my bulletin board fell on my head. Literally.

Imagine this dropping on your cranium.

For that one endless “what just happened here?” split second, I stood, bent over, stock still. Um, whut? Oh. Right. There is a big, heavy, flat object with pointy things sticking out of it on my head. I should probably move it. Which I did, and set it back atop my secretary desk, to lean it against the wall. The judicial system needed me (until it didn’t) and I had to be off, because Real Life Romance Hero and I had a bus to catch. Which we also did, and, to be honest, I hadn’t given the bulletin board that much thought since then, because jury duty and dead phone and errands and writing and critting and such. Today, though, I was determined not to whinge about my phone for two days in a row.

This board is vintage, and has been in place since the day we moved in, and I asked Real Life Romance Hero to remove the mirror that was already there, because I didn’t want to look at my own face all day while I wrote. (We will not mention my current penchant for my laptop’s camera; I had neither penchant nor laptop at the time.) So, up went the bulletin board, and, for the longest time, it had nothing on it, or precious little. I’d wanted the board to be packed full of inspiration, but, at that time, I was deep in my slump. Inspiration was basically nil. I put up some random crud. Wrappers from tea bags, the front of a tea box (hey, I like tea.) Greeting cards from friends? Sure. (Note: I love getting snail mail and cherish such, from friends old or new.) Pretty pins that aren’t even holding anything? Eh, why not? My printer at the time was down, so no way to print new things that reflected what was really going on inside my skull, even if a lot (okay, most) of it was an incomprehensible jumble that wasn’t producing much.

The only intentional item on the board from its original incarnation is this:

I *will* write Angus and Summer’s story at some point. Still in the resting phase at the moment.

The central image of this partially-printed printout of a collaged folder is most of the inspiration image for the original form of the time travel romance that has been, at various points, Endless Summer, Wild Highland Waltz, and a couple of other things. It was originally-originally The Boys of Summer, after the Don Henley song and video that was part of the impetus for the original idea. A more marketable title would probably be something along the lines of MacLaren’s Lady, but Summer would hate that, and she is a strongly opinionated character. She’d probably kick butt in a postapocalyptic story, but Angus is definitely a man of his time (16th century Scotland) so I have no idea what the final form of their true story will end up being, but I do know that they will get their HEA, once they’re done simmering. Trying to write too soon, before I know my story people and their world as fully as I need is a bad habit I a currently learning how to break. Angus and Summer are only resting, probably burning off some bad juju, or letting some voices that didn’t need to be in my head, evaporate.

Inspiration and reminders…

Current bunch of stuff in the middle of the board is two of those random things, and a printout of a calendar page by my all time favorite romance illustrator, Elaine Duillo. Illustration is also the cover of one of those amazing lush historicals that fuel my fire, but author and title are escaping me at present. The figures remind me so much of my own current hero and heroine, though, that it had to go up, and counts as the first intentional addition to the board since its inception. Go, me.

Two smaller piece of paper are quotes. Purple paper’s quote says “The perfect is the enemy of the good,” and is by Voltaire. Cream paper’s quote says, “You’re in the factory. Make the product,” and is more of a nomad, coming from (please correct me if I’m wrong) Chuck Wendig, filtered through K.A. Mitchell, filtered through me. I won’t go into the minutiae of who, exactly, said what, exactly, but what stuck with me enough to write it down and put it on my board is, “You’re in the factory. Make the product.” The product here, in my case, is historical romance novels.

Mission statement-ish.

Page from my much-loved paper mousepad bears two descriptions of the way I want to be viewed as a writer. Top entry came out of Barbara Samuel’s class on writer’s voice, and the other came from my own head some time later, because having only those three lines on that big paper bothered me. To save any squinting:

Complex, intelligent, lushly detailed historical romance that packs an emotional punch
(the “intelligent” being the instructor’s addition, and was not in my original answer to the prompt)

and

“Strong heroes, strong heroines, and a romance worthy of history.”

Either one of those would be amazing review. To get one, however, I need to A) promote my current backlist, and 2) keep writing new books and getting them out there.

Some days, the work comes easy. Some days, the work comes hard. Some days, we literally get hit over the head with reminders of why we’re in this writing business in the first place.

Typing With Wet Claws: Have to go Through It Edition

September 18, 2015annabowling 1 Comment

Hello, all. Skye here, for another Feline Friday. This has been an interesting week, but then again, they always are. Otherwise, I would have nothing to write about, and that would not make Anty happy. She counts on me to take care of Friday posts for her, which I am happy to do, because I am a very devoted kitty. I do an excellent job of following my humans around the apartment and sitting in the worst (they say worst, but I think they really mean best) places, right in their paths, to show them how much I love them and want to be wherever they are. Also, if they have to go past or over me, that means they will see me and remember it is time to feed me. It is always time to feed me, because I have a special food schedule. I eat little bits throughout the day. My humans tried giving me only breakfast and dinner, but I was not okay with that. I prefer things my way.

That is something Anty and I have in common. Tailoring the way things “should” be done to the way they actually work can be a very good thing. Like with me. Because of my special paws, I do not climb or jump (but do not worry, I am fine. I can walk and run and play -I love to bat crumpled paper around the hardwood floor- like any other kitty.) so using a litterbox is confusing for me. Anty, Uncle and Mama do not ask me to do that. Instead, I have my pee spot and a couple of poop spots (I have to give them some variety, don’t I? Plus, I don’t like to poop when people are watching.) and always let them know when I did something, so they can clean it right away. No predators have found us yet, so I think it is safe to say my plan is working. You are welcome.

Anyway, Anty has found this is very true in reading and writing, as well as my personal habits. By going with her gut in her reading preferences, she has found she is reading more, like she wanted to be, and does not feel all that pressure to keep up with current releases. Not that she is not abreast (that is my vocabulary word for the day) of current publishing trends and news; she likes knowing what is going on in the market, very much. She is checking the mailbox daily for Romantic Times Book Reviews, so she can see what is going on this month. wwRight now, she is reading a mix of realistic Young Adult novels and classic historical romances. She wishes Goodreads had a classifier for rereading, because that would make updating her status a lot easier. It also would be nice if it did not show books she has already read as books she is still reading, because that bothers her.

I have digressed. Anty is working on a post about how she uses sticky notes, part of which will require her to get out her plotting board. That is fun and scary at the same time. Fun, because she will get to play with sticky notes and move things around. Scary, because then people will see what she is doing and they might not like how she is doing it. Maybe they will not like her. I try to tell her that is okay. Uncle and Mama and I will still love her, but she is a writer human, and prone to these insecurities. Maybe she will make a picture with Scapple, because then she can draw lines between the boxes. She cannot do that with her plotting board, but she could, if she had a white board. She used to have a white board (but it was not white; it was a picture of white clouds in a blue sky) but I do not think it made it with us during the move. She will figure it out.

This week, Anty has had another article on XOJane.com, this time about what it was like to take care of her papa, her own anty, and Uncle at the same time. I do not remember any of that, because I was not born yet, so I cannot tell you anything that is not in the article. It is here and looks like this:

Anty did not think she would like writing personal experience articles -she is a fiction writer, after all- but she does, and plans on writing more of them. It is kind of like blogging, only more people read it, and publisher humans give her money, which she can turn into cat food. Or maybe other things, like notebooks or maybe another computer, but I think she should get the cat food first. It is important. One important thing Anty has learned from writing these articles is to dive deeper into the emotions. Picking what details to share (Uncle says she has left out a lot of the good parts, but Anty reminds him there is a word count she has to respect with these things.) This means reworking some things in the historical, that she has already written, which does not make her happy, even though she knows it will be best for the book and the characters.

Although Anty would really prefer to have the whole book come from her head to the page, perfectly, the first time, she is coming to understand it does not work like that. The process of writing, like the process of caregiving, or cleaning out her papa’s house, is something Anty has to go through, to get to the other side. If that means making a big mess first, then that is what she will have to do. It is okay. I still love her. And cat food. I love cat food.

Speaking of writing, Anty has to do that now, so she will need the computer, which means that is about it for this week. Until next time, I remain,

Very truly yours,